Home Care Physical Therapy released mom from the walker today. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know that Mom hates the walker. She has complained about the walker. She has rolled her eyes about using the walker. And she has said she would not go out in public with the walker. And yet this evening, she is still using the walker. I’m not sure I will ever understand my mother.
She made plans with a friend to golf on Tuesday. She told her that she expected to go home Saturday or Sunday. So here we go…
Mom is getting stronger. She is taking care of all her personal needs such as bathing and dressing. She is capable of getting her own water, coffee and snacks, although, she much prefers for me to do that for her. She hasn’t fixed her own meal since living here, and I know she wouldn’t fix much when living alone either. I asked her this morning, ‘Mom, do you want breakfast before you get dressed or after?’ Her reply was, ‘oh just a cookie or two; something light’. Just for the record, I have never fed her cookies for breakfast. But still, if asked, that is her first choice. Cookies for breakfast and lemon pie for lunch — no wonder she had gotten weak earlier this spring when she was living alone.
But her strength isn’t the issue. It’s the dementia. Now that I am closely tied to her daily life, I see the confusion. My siblings see the confusion. And now, her friends even see the confusion. But Mom does not. And to be fair, she probably is just as well as she was for the last six months she lived alone. But should she have been living alone? Probably not. So how much dementia is too much dementia to live alone? And who gets to decide?